Saturday, October 29, 2011

Good Days and Bad Days

I know many of you are worried sick about us wondering if we are still alive and surviving this crazy season of our lives...and then there are those of you who are just addicted to our blog and NEED a daily update. :o) I am so thankful for all the messages, texst, and emails checking up on us, but I just cannot find the time or energy to respond to all of them. I will try to give updates on my bog when I can to keep you all in the know, but life as mom of a new adopted toddler, mom of twin 6 yr. old boys who still has to catch up homework on top of the regular homework, wife to a husband who is in the height of his busy season at work, and the list goes on...did I mention doing this while SO SLEEP DEPRIVED???????

Now for your fix:

Sweet little Hannah over all is doing so well with all that she is going through. The first few days home went really well outside of sleeping at night (which is when she seems to do most of her grieving). The last few days however has been a different story. Don't get me wrong, the girl still has many HAPPY and content moments, but we've seen her regress in a lot of ways.
1) Sleepless nights got worse
2) Night terrors
3) Waking from naps not knowing where she is or who I am, and completely terrified of me when I try to come to her.
4) Shaking and crying when we say, "It's time to go Bye-Bye" with fear she is going to be left.
5) Not being able to walk through most doorways without being carried (she did this a lot in China, but we thought she was over it). She will freeze up and cry almost every time.
6) Terrified of random loud noises (garbage truck outside, or even me calling out one of the kid's names from across the house.
7) Her pulling her hair out when she has one of her meltdowns.
8) She is still very jealous of the boys time with me. She does not handle very well the boys sitting next to me doing homework.
9) Meal times are still very hard, however I think this is starting to get better.
10) Then there is the fact that she is almost 2!! Trying to decide whats a 2 year old tantrum, and whats an emotions grieving moment...sometimes it's just hard to know.

Now let me say that most people do not see this side of her. Most people would look at her (and they do) and say, "She has adjusted so well." And in most ways she has (the girl can work a crowd), but unless you are in our home these last few days you would not know the real hardship this poor child has in her life. It's also really hard to talk to people about this, because most people just don't understand the hardship and needs of a child her age who has been abandoned..sometimes we struggle with it. Parenting a child like her is nothing like parenting my other children...and it's SO HARD to re-train our parenting style!

Charlie and I are doing OK. Last night was the first time I felt like the jet lag might be wearing off (no more extreme nausea, headaches, drugged feeling, severe fogged brain...although that last one is still trying to hang on). Now if we could just get better sleep at night we would be great. I am SO incredibly thankful for the meals coming our way cause that is the hardest time of our days hands down. It's the simplest things sometimes that mean the world in moments like these.

Her relationship with the boys is getting better every day. It's so cute when we have to go get the boys from school. The moment she recognizes them she gets all giddy and starts squeeling with her arms out to hug them. She truly has a love for them and knows them as her brothers, she just is still not comfortable in her role in our family when they are around. This is just going to take a lot of patience, time, and love. Mark and Charles are just smitten with her and I think they understand that she just needs time.

We have been so amazed at the things she is telling us about her past through playing. Like the fact that she or someone in her foster home slept on mats on the floor, and that they sponged bathed in a large pot while sitting on a stool, and a few other things like that. Every day we learn a little more about her past...good and bad. Just amazing what you can learn about a child through the way they play and a little research.

Today has been a good day, and we just keep praying every day will just continue to move forward vrs. backwards, but whatever comes we will be there to see her through it...because that's what parents do.

BTW, I still have that last big suitcase that needs to be unpacked. :(

Sorry no fun pictures. Till next time.


Becky said...

Sweet Denise, hang in there!! We certainly don't expect you to update your blog...although we love it when you do! Glad that Hannah seems to be getting to know you all. We will continue to pray as you ALL adjust.

Just FYI- has any told you about taking melatonin? They recommend it for international travel especially. Melatonin is what your body makes to regulate sleep cycles. I give it to my kids from time to time and I've even taken it. Take it about 15 minutes before bed. You don't feel drugged or "foggy", just tired and ready for bed. Then you wake the next morning ready to go, no hangover affect. We get the 5mg tablets and break them into 4ths and give the kids each a fourth. You probably know all that, but thought I'd pass it on. Hope it helps!

The Campbell Family said...

Thank you for the tip, but unfortunately this is with the melatonin. :( We have also been using the jet lag form of it...crazy!!!! Our agent made sure we were all stocked up, just wish it helped.