We've seen the face of an angel!

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalms 139:16

Tuesday April 26th we got the very much anticipated phone call we've been waiting for. On the other line was our agent announcing, "You've been matched!!!" She said the little girl's file was still being translated and I had about 20 minutes to get to my husbands' office or for him to get home. I grabbed my cameras and headed straight to Charlie's office. I called him on the way to tell him the exciting news. Do you know how hard it is to drive a car when you are shaking from all the adrenaline running through your body? Charlie arranged for us to go into a private conference room where we waited for the email to come through.

The moment we sat down the email popped up. This is what we saw:

Her Chinese name is Shao Qing Chu. Sorry, still not sure of an American name, or if we will keep part of her Chinese name. We want to wait and see if this is a name that was given to her by her birth parents who kept her for the 1st month of her life, or if this was given to her by the orphanage she was placed in. Her birth parents did leave her with a birth note (which is somewhat rare, yet a HUGE answer to our prayers). She is 17 months old (as of the 17th of April). She is from Hangzhou City in Zheijang Province (close to Shanghai). After initially living in an orphanage, she was placed in a foster home at 5 months and it sounds like she has received really good care from the foster family.

As far as her medical need...She was born with a hole in her heart known as ASD. This is one of the most common heart defects children are born with. The pediatric cardiologist who reviewed her file told us the hole seems to be closing on it's own, however we have about a 50/50 chance of her still needing heart surgery once we get her. All of this information was based on her last check up with the Chinese doctors this last December (which was also the time this picture was taken). We are praying that this hole will continue to heal on its own and that she will not need any surgery once she is home. She is very small in size (don't let the picture fool you...I think she is dressed in at least 15 layers under that fluffy white coat). She's so cute!!!

They have told us we should travel to China sometime in late August or September (do you know how long that feels after seeing that sweet face?). Oh my goodness, this is going to be the longest 4 months ever...Not that I have 1 thing for a 17 mo. old, or a room ready for a little GIRL.

Our boys are SO EXCITED. It was so cute to watch them tell all their friends and teachers the next day at school (BTW, Charles is dressed like this due to the Kenya tea party his class had for all the moms that day).

It has been so sweet to hear them make plans on who gets to pick out her blanket, who gets to pick out her stuffed animal, what they think her name should be (which surprisingly are very sweet names); but the sweetest moments are hearing them pray and thank God for their baby sister. I know bringing this little girl home is going to rock their world once she's here, but for now I will bask in the sweet blessing of their pure joy.

As far as how Charlie and I are feeling, I think this next picture sums it up pretty well...It's a GIRL!!!

Just as crazy in Houston

So we left right after church on Sunday for our adventure in Houston. Charlie was able to get two nights at the Hilton Galleria for only $65 per night, compliments of Priceline! We're looking at this trip like a little celebration. When we're done with Houston, we're done with the paperwork process....or at least we think we are.

Sunday was Charles' first fever free day, but unfortunately, I started feeling sick. A little achey, couldn't breathe real well, and wasn't sleeping very good. Other than that, Sunday was uneventful. However, we were feeling very anxious about what tomorrow could bring.

After waking up at 3 a.m. on Monday morning (told you I couldn't sleep), I had to lay there and wait for everyone else to wake up. Luckily we had an early wake up call so we could be one of the first ones to arrive at the Chinese Consulate. Much to our surprise, there was a line around the corner when we drove up 15 minutes before it opened!

After 9:00 we soon made it inside the building where we were greeted with a burly guard and a metal detector. He insisted that everyone turn their cell phones off. Normally, we might not have taken him so seriously. But we read on the internet that multiple people have had their phones confiscated after turning them on after getting inside the Chinese Consulate. So we settled in for a long wait in line without the ever-present crutch of our cell phones.

Luckily we did bring some coloring books and crayons for the boys. They camped out in a small waiting area to pass the time.

Let's set the stage a little. Imagine the Department of Motor Vehicles but much worse. There were two lines: one for dropping off (which we were in) and one for picking up. Unfortunately, it turns out that Monday is the busiest day of the week for dropping off. At the end of the lines is a row of Chinese employees behind a bullet-proof glass. Periodically, they would begin speaking in Chinese over an intercom, which the entire room could hear. About 90% of the people in line appeared to be Chinese and were in line for visa issues. The other 10% were other nationalities who were there for mostly visa issues as well. This surprised us a little because we just assumed there would be other American families carrying their packets that said "Dossier". We were the only ones and we felt like fish out of water.

I'm sorry to say the experience was equally as nerve-racking for the Chinese folks in line. It seemed everyone there had a very important situation they were dealing with. In fact, at times it was very much like the "Soup Nazi" episode on Seinfeld. One nice Chinese man goes up to the window (after waiting for 2 hours) and presents a form that he had printed the night before from the Consulate's website. The employee takes one brief look, gives the man a dismissive waive of her hand and says, "Form expired. Next!" He tries to explain that he printed the form the night before from their website and she simply says, "Expired! Next!" We saw similar scenarios play out several times while waiting in line. Everytime I would hear someone say, "Next!", I would look at Charlie and whisper, "They didn't get any soup!" Needless to say, we were nervous and didn't feel good about our chances.

Finally, at 10:30 our turn had come and we calmly walked up to the window. We shoved our large packet of papers through the tiny hole, only for her to glance briefly at them and say, "Only original, no copies!" What??? She said it again a few times and finally we realized that we were supposed to bring originals AND copies so they could keep a copy. Well that would have been nice to know. There is one pay-copier (coins only) in the place and we had a large stack and no coins. The nice employee (luckily we didn't get the Soup Nazi) told us to go make copies and come back. She said we could go to the front of the line IF we returned by 11:30.

The Consulate shuts down every day at 11:30 and does not reopen until 1:30. So that meant if we were not back by 11:30, then we would need to start all over and likely need to extend our trip for an extra day.

I decided to stay at the Consulate with the boys while Charlie took our papers to get copied. Charlie grabbed the papers and ran for the car. The moment he left the building, I needed to call him to ask him to bring back a bag of snacks we had left in the car (the boys were starting to get restless after almost two hours), but then remembered cell phones were not allowed!

The security guard had given Charlie some quick directions to a nearby office supply store, but that didn't work out well. While he was looking for the store, he decided to run into a CVS and ask for directions. As he was literally running up to the store, a very polite homeless man asks him for money to wash his windows. Charlie told the man he would be right back. After getting directions to an Office Depot, Charlie runs back past the homeless man and cleans out about $2 in quarters from the ashtray (every coin we had). Charlie quickly gave it to the man, leapt in the car and took off - no clean windows!

After driving about 5 miles to Office Depot, Charlie was able to make all the copies. We were told not to take any staples out of papers or someone might suspect the documents had been tampered with. Therefore, Charlie tried to be careful not to alter the documents in any way. After racing back to the Consulate, Charlie rushes back into the room at 11:10.

Within minutes we are back at the window and presented our documents - again. On the first document (there were 14 stacks in all) she reviewed, the date was cut off on the copy Charlie had just run across town to make. She slid the document back under the glass and said, "Go make copy," and pointed to the coin-operated copy machine. Unfortunately, we didn't have any change because Charlie gave it all away to a homeless man! I pulled out a dollar bill and turned around and asked the entire room loudly if anyone had change for a dollar. Everyone just stared at me! Finally, a nearby Chinese lady asked another American man if he had change. He very reluctantly reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of quarters (why he didn't offer when I was loudly pleading with everyone in the room, I don't know). Finally, I was able to make the copy and get back to Charlie.

We then waited on pins and needles while she slowly scanned every detail of the remaining 13 stacks of papers. For some reason she focused on our Oklahoma marriage license and didn't like certain things about it (I suppose she won't be first or last to not like something about Oklahoma). But thanks to the incessant silent prayerful pleading to God from both me and Charlie, we ultimately made it through without any more hiccups.

I must ask forgiveness for my negativity through the ordeal. While we stood at the window, I kept whispering to Charlie, "We're not going to get our soup!" Charlie just kept whispering, "Sshhh. Be quiet!" But I knew he was thinking the same thoughts.

From here, there isn't much to tell. We did get our soup after all. We had to go back on Tuesday morning and stand in line for another hour, pick the documents up and pay our money.

This whole experience was a big wakeup call for us. It is definitely more real now than it previously was. I can only imagine how much more intense being in a country full of Chinese will be compared to being in a room full of Chinese. We have so much to learn about China and the Chinese people.

The good news is that we are now the proud owners of 14 stacks of papers with Chinese Consulate seals on them. This completes our long road of paperwork.

We mailed the dossier package to our agency in Georgia and they subsequently sent it to China on Monday, March 14. We were told it would arrive in China by Thursday, March 17. With a little luck, our dossier will be logged in by the end of Friday of this past week and we can officially begin the waiting stage.

If you read this post, please be in prayer for our placement. Please pray that the folks at Small World will have the wisdom to match us with God's choice for our daughter. Please also pray that we will feel the Holy Spirit's prompting in making our decision.

And now we wait........

Craziness in Austin

It's been a while since we've blogged. We finally received our approval from Homeland Security (or US Immigration or USCIS, whichever you want to call it). They believe we are fit to be parents! It took them two months to come to that conclusion, but at least we passed.

Our next step is to go to Austin to get various documents certified. Actually, every document that has been notarized by a Texas notary must be certified by the State of Texas, stating that the notary is in fact a real person authorized to notarize in the state of Texas. So we're basically have certifications certified.

I've been a little nervous about making this trip by myself. I wasn't really sure why I was nervous, but Charlie didn't help matters. He tells me that the stretch of highway between Waco and Austin is one of the most dangerous highways in the country. So I was a little nervous. So God in his infinite wisdom decided to give me two traveling partners - Mark and Charles each got sick (cold and strep) the day before so I had to hold them out of school.

We left early this past Friday morning (6:30 I think) and headed to Austin, hoping to make it home for an afternoon nap. We walked in to the Secretary of State's office right at 10:00, only to soon find out that one of our documents is not an original, but a copy (you would only know this if you had a spy glass like the lady used). Then (and this is way too many details), it turns out that one of the notaries has recently renewed her certification using her full first name rather than her first and middle initials (which is what she used to certify our documents). How in the world are we supposed to control things like that???? Fortunately, the nice lady at the Secretary of State's office was able to correct that problem (I think she felt sorry for me and saw me starting to panic).

But the first problem with the "copy" of the original was not so easily corrected. I called Charlie (aka "my hero") at about 10:30 panicked. He immediately drove to our doctor's office to try and get the originals, but to no avail. It seems our doctor leads a very busy life and they could not guarantee that he would have time to sign a new form that day. Charlie then drives home, only to miraculously find the originals in a stack of adoption papers. Thank you God! Charlie then hops in his truck and drives 3 hours to Austin to deliver by closing time.

When I found out that Charlie was on his way, I calmed down and began to plan a fun day with the boys. The State Legislature is in session and we decided to do some home schooling at the capital after lunch.

We were having a grand time when suddenly Charles' went down hill and began to whine about how he didn't feel good (this is after they made me walk up four flights of stairs to the top of the capital building). I didn't think much about it at first because he had been sick the past day or so. But when he refused to get up from a bench and started crying and begging to go to the car, I knew something was up. He started saying, "This is the WORST day ever!" I felt his head and he was burning with fever. After pulling a sick crying kid 9 blocks, I finally found a CVS. Charles finally melted down as we walked in and fell on the floor crying and refused to get up. I yanked a bottle of motrin off the shelf and let him chug a lug right there, before I had even paid for it. (We later find out that Charles had the flu and several other kids in his class had the same thing).

I had no idea how I was going to get him back 9 blocks (uphill) to the car. Here is where I need to tell you what else was going on....

Our sweet friend Amanda Dearing (who will be traveling with us to China, with her husband Kevin) sent me this text..."Not sure where ya'll are or what you're doing, but you need to know that at 2:45 exactly God put ya'll on my heart. So I stopped and prayed for all of ya'll."

I heard my phone ding but I was at no place to stop and read the text - I was busy trying to figure out how to ride a city bus (sorry but I've never actually ridden a city bus in the United States and I didn't know how this all worked). While I'm standing on the street corner in front of CVS, I hear behind me "ding, ding". One of those bicyle drawn buggies comes pulling up behind me. I looked at the man and said, "How much?" He said he worked on tips and I said, "Get in kids, we're riding a bicycle!" Once we're riding down the road I saw a sign in the buggy that suggested a tip of $20. Unfortunately for him I only had $12 on me. The buggy fit 3 people exactly. He drove us right up to our car, at which time Charlie called and said he would be pulling up soon!

I don't know if I'm getting the stress across that I was feeling - it was STRESSFUL!! But I held it together and was calm throughout the whole thing. I never broke down or cried, even though I felt like it. Charlie drove up a few minutes later, gave me the original documents and said, "You go and I'll stay with the kids in the van."

As I'm walking back to the Secretary of State's office, I check my phone and read Amanda's text (thank you Amanda for not only listening to God's prompting, but also for letting me know - it was a huge encouragement). Then the lady tells me that the notary who signed the original form let her commission expire. It was in good standing when she signed the documents, but currently it was expired. It seems like that would not be a problem, but apparently it might be a problem. She decided to certify the form anyway, but cautioned us that the Chinese Consulate in Houston may not like it.

After all of this, I took my "now certified" documents back to the van to find Charles asleep in Charlie's lap. This is when I finally lost it. I broke down crying but really happy that we had accomplished what we set out to do!

A special mention needs to go to Mark. He was unbelievable for the whole day. He was such a trooper and had a wonderful attitude. He was helpful to me and patient with Charles. I could not have done it without him.

So after struggling through Austin rush hour traffic, we finally made it home around 9:45. So much for the afternoon nap! But.....God is good and he is the ultimate planner. If the boys had not been sick, my plan was to return by 3:00 to pick them up from school. If that had happened, I would have had the car seats and Charlie would not have been able to pick them up from school and deliver the documents to Austin. Then we would have had even more delays and likely another trip back to Austin. So thank you God for the crazy details and the stress and the kids getting sick and Charlie having to make an extra trip and us getting home so late.

Our next step is Houston - home of the Chinese Consulate General. Basically we will have the same thing done again, only by the Chinese government. And apparently they are much more strict than the state of Texas. Remember, we have one form we're really worried about. We are leaving on Sunday. Really??? Sunday??? Here we go again.....

Amazing Husband!

Yes, I have an amazing husband! If I had any doubts about where my husband stood in all of this adoptions stuff (and I don't), they would be all erased after that last post Charlie wrote.

I was on my way to bed when Charlie came in from a walk and asked me how to get on my blog. I showed him and went to bed (I was SO TIRED). Later the next morning I found myself sitting in front of the computer reading his sweet prayer he blogged and crying tears of joy. Wow, has God done a work in his heart (our hearts) or what? I asked him later where this "All of the sudden" need to blog came from and he said, "While I was walking that night I just felt so burdened for her. I wanted to post my thoughts to record the moment and share with others the feelings I had just in case someone else felt called to pray."

The amazing thing (ok things) about that is that I had been feeling the same thing all week, but God knew I needed rest...and rest I did that night.:) God gave the burden to Charlie to carry for the night. How sweet of Him to work in such a way. :) The 2nd thing is that just around the same time I realized just how much I am falling in love with a little girl on the other side of the world whom I have never even met. It's amazing and weird all at the same time. Never in a million years did I believe that would happen without even seeing a photo or having something to go on...Just a calling. Then to read Charlie's post, made me realize God is growing his heart too. Oh, how blessed we are!

Yes, I have an AMAZING husband and outstanding Godly father to our children...All 3 of them!!!! Love you honey.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Lord, I praise you because you are the creator of the ends of the earth. You do not grow tired or weary and your understanding no one can fathom. You give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak. Those who put their faith in you will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. Who has done what you have done, calling forth the generations from the beginning? You have made all things, you alone have stretched out the heavens and spread out the earth. How awesome you are, Lord Most High! You are the great King over all the earth!

Lord, please forgive me of my sins. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. I need you Lord. My family needs you. My daughter needs you.

Lord, she is likely alone tonight. In an orphanage or a foster home with multiple other orphans. It is 36 degrees in Beijing and she may be cold right now. She could be in pain from some medical issue that we don't even know about yet. Lord, you have chosen us to be her family; to love her; protect her; provide for her every need. But I can't do anything to help her right now. But Lord!!!! YOU defend the cause of the fatherless!!! Though our fathers and mothers forsake us, YOU will receive us!!! Lord, you already know our daughter. You created her inmost being; you knit her together in her mother's womb. I praise you because she is fearfully and wonderfully made. How precious to me are your thoughts of her, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. Lord, even when she wakes in the morning, she is still with you. But she doesn't know you (yet!). Lord, please wrap your loving arms around her tonight. Lord, calm her emotions. Give her your peace. God, that you would take away her pains. Please give her sweet dreams. Provide her with extra blankets if she is cold; good food if she is hungry; medicine if she is sick. Lord I pray you would raise up a helper to look after her; to love her and hold her; to talk to her and sing to her; to tell her that everything will be ok. Lord, send your Holy Spirit to prepare her for us. I pray you would put a vision or dream in her mind to prepare her for the day we meet. Lord, continue to prepare us for her.

Lord, please continue to mold me into the husband and father you want me to be. Show me how to be a father to a little girl. Help me to love her mommy in a way that she will have a Godly vision of the type of man to seek out one day. And Lord, I pray for the day that she will truly know your son Jesus. I thank you for this special time that you and her can have alone together. I pray that because of this special time, her heart would one day be more tender toward you. And I pray in the name of Jesus, backed by the power of the cross and His shed blood, that my daughter will grow to be a healthy, vibrant, GODLY woman who will love you and serve you all the days of her life.

Lord, you are Holy. You alone are worthy. May you and your son Jesus be glorified through our journey.

In Jesus' Name, Amen.
Charlie

Medical Need

Yes, we are choosing to adopt a child with a medical need. Crazy, but this was not the hardest decision we've made in this process. I think getting to the decision just to adopt was the hardest decision. When God called us to adopt, we very quickly began to feel this was part of His calling. At this point we don't know what that medical need will be, and we do hope and pray that whatever the need is it will be something we can eventually overcome through therapy or medical assistance. We have heard many stories on both ends of a medical mis-diagnosis; we pray we will end up on the right end of one of these, but we are also preparing ourselves to follow God no matter what. When and if the time is right I will one day blog about whatever medical need we are facing, but until God calls us to share that info we may be a little private about it to protect our child.

Just adopting an orphan from another country brings so many hurdles and obstacles to get over, and we can only prepare as much as we can before hand (we realize this is not going to be a piece of cake). We also know that God does not make mistakes, and He calls us to love and look after EVERY orphan.

Because our twins were almost 6 weeks early we needed a lot of help through physical, occupational, and speech therapy. The first 2 years of the boys' lives were hard and at times very challenging, but we got through it and now you wouldn't even know how hard we all struggled at times. The boys are growing and doing so well in school that we sometimes forget where we once were.

When we are reminded of those times with our boys, it makes us so sad to think how many people wanting to adopt would have passed them over just because they weren't the typical picture of a "perfect" child. When we found out how many children are placed on this medical list with some very minor or correctable needs (lazy eye, birthmark, premature birth, missing digits, need of braces for club foot, or a surgery they have already had, ect.) and their odds of ever being chosen because of being placed on this list, it was a no-brainer.

Let me say that we 100% know that this is what God led us to, and in no way believe this is for everyone wanting to adopt. There are SO MANY children in this world who need a forever home to call theirs, so if we all went this route then we would have thousands of healthy children waiting on some list. However, that being said, we have become huge advocates for the ones others might pass by without realizing the truth behind the list. In the end God calls all of us to help these children in some way (James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress..), but it's between you and God which path is right for you and your family. For everyone it will look different.

A lot of people may think we are crazy for choosing this path; but that would mean we are crazy for obeying and following God. I think the hardest thing has been telling people (the few who have had to know this far, or trying it out on perfect strangers)and watching their faces light up when we tell them we are adopting, but then watching their face change when we tell them we are choosing a child off of the medical list.

The other hard thing to swallow is everyone has a story to tell; and good or bad (mostly bad), they are going to share their story whether we like it or not (oh, how UNencouraging this is). I know they are trying to help, or just don't know what to say. What they don't realize is that we have become very educated on the matter through adoption training, visiting with therapists, doctors, and friends who have already walked the path before us. Really all we want or need is support, prayers, and some encouragement to keep going.

We have learned that everyone's story is different and to just take their stories with a grain of salt; but sometimes too much salt can be unhealthy and taste very bitter. I cringe that one day people will say these things in front of our adopted child (yes, aparently it happens way more than I'd like to think). :( In the meantime we will try to extend a little grace, and get our key responses ready (just like we did when we had twins) and move forward through yet one more crazy part of this journey.

We begin telling family and friends soon, and we feel a little nervous about it. We do realize this decission does not just effect us, and we have also had a lot more time to process this...Bitter Sweet, but I think we are finally ready.

The Dreaded Home Study :(

OK, so tonight was the 1st of 4 in home interviews. This is where a lady comes into our home to check us and our home out to make sure we are fit and sane enough to adopt a child. Oh, the fun we've had thinking up all kinds of fun ways to freak this women out just to make tonight a little more fun (like answering the door dressed in our Ike and Tina Turner costumes from Halloween; leaving a bunch of CRAZY things all over the house and telling her that's what we use to spank our kids with; answering every other question with a Chinese accent; letting the kids run around naked the whole time, etc.). But, then we may never receive this sweet blessing God has for us. :(  So, we'll just act our age tonight and try our best to fool the woman. ;~)

The crazy blessing in all of this is that I happen to know this women. We have had our children in the same Mother Day Out schools over the last couple of years (I am so amazed at all the little ways God keeps showing himself to us through this process). An agency out of Amarillo picked someone I knew! In all this time of casually talking with this lady I never knew she did this type of work. Now, here she is in my house doing our Home Study. Just Crazy!

Tonight went AMAZINGLY well!!! We got through our couple interview, and the kids had their interview (without us in the room). It feels so good to know that this lady is working for us and not against us (I've heard some crazy stories)...that reminded me I need to share my scripture of the week:

Romans 8:31 If God is for us, then who can be against us.

This was the scripture that has come across my mind so many times in this last week. I even began to wonder why it kept coming up. Then yesterday I found out something we would be asked (knowing our answer would not look good for us and knowing Charlie and I had not talked about it yet, nor would we be able to talk before tonight's interview due to his ridiculously late nights at the office this week). I began to panic a little. I finally called our sweet agent out of Georgia to ask her how to handle the situation only to have her quote this same scripture from Romans. Wow! God gave me this scripture before I needed it! Why am I surprised that He knew I was going to hit a wall this week, and there He was already preparing me for it? The moment I heard her say this, it hit me like a ton of bricks (I kind of even remember yelling at her,"That's it! That's it"). I realized at that moment that if God has called us to this adoption (and He clearly has), then no one can stand in our way (not even some bad note on our 10 plus page report she will send to China about us). So, tonight when the issue came up, she passed it off and it was never an issue at all. Wow, I can't begin to tell you how good it feels to know that we have God going before us, paving this CRAZY road all the way to China.

One, down. 3 more to go! The next 2 interviews will be our individual ones where she will ask us all about our families, our marriage, and our sex life (yes, I said sex life). I just think it's funny that you still have to have sex to have a child even through adoption (go figure). I probably should have prepared the sweet lady that I have NO problem talking about sex. This is one area I know we don't have anything to worry about. ;~) T.M.I.??? Naa.

Funny, but I don't dread the HS process anymore (I never thought I would say that).

How this journey began

Where to start??? Well, we had been married a couple of years when some friends of ours went to China to pick up their 1st child. I remember going to the airport to welcome them home (with a small bundle of pink balloons). Little did I know just how much this moment would impact my life. I remember seeing them walk off the plane (these were the good old days where you actually got to go into the airport to greet people)  and feeling an overwhelming burst of emotions the moment I saw my friend Angie walk out holding her new daughter. Now, let me tell you that I didn't really know these friends that well at the time, but there I stood holding my little bundle of pink balloons crying just as hard (if not harder) than their family (trust me, I was just as surprised and embarrassed by this as her family whom I had just meet). My friend later told me she saw a look in my face that day, and she had a feeling God had begun a new work in our lives. I also remember coming home later that night and while cooking dinner I turned around and asked Charlie, "What would you say if I said let's go to China and get a child" (I remember this like it was yesterday). He looked at me with a little shock on his face and said,"I say we wait, let's try to have children of our own 1st" (which we had no plans on doing for a long while still). I knew in my heart he was right about waiting; I too wasn't ready to start a family. After that moment the feeling died away for a long time. When it came time to start our family that desire was gone. I would think about it from time to time, but that same drive was nothing more than a thought of maybe "one day".

So, most of you know that after being married 7 years God chose to bless us with the most amazing twin boys.  Who would have thought that during the HARDEST time of my life that God would then begin to water the seed he had planted long ago? The crazy part is that we both knew we didn't have a desire to have more of our own children, and for that matter we didn't want another baby (love other people's, just didn't want our own). Maybe this had something to do with fear of getting pregnant with twins again (I've met a few women this has happened to, but more than likely it was God shaping our hearts to align with His) . The sweet part is that I was starting to see that God was planting a seed inside Charlie's heart at the same time. God also began to give both of us visions of a larger family "one day", and when I say one day, I mean these visions were of older kids. So, in the throws of raising twin toddler boys we began to pray about how and when this bigger family would "one day" come to be (because it was most certainly NOT coming through me).  

One of the 1st things people want to know is...Why China? Short answer is, "This is where God is leading us". Funny, but China was not at all where we started. I feel like we have been all around the world, just no souvenirs to prove it. With each path God has taken us down we have learned so much about ourselves, our marriage, our family, our kids, and most importantly, His will. I visited an orphan camp a couple of years ago with our young married minister's wife from church (who was planning to adopt one of the kids there). We attended CPS classes last summer thinking maybe He wants us to foster  (what man attends those horrible foster care classes alone without his wife some nights if he's not really hearing God's call). We even had an 11 year old girl from Ukraine in our home last November, only for God to close that door too. We spent some time talking with others and looking into other countries (none of which were China) only to have more doors close. Now, we are emotionally exhausted!!! I think we began to wonder if adoption was really for us. Are we really even hearing God at all? The only reason we kept searching is because "If" God was calling us to adopt, neither of us wanted to be out of God's will (the fear of the Lord kind-of thing). We finally left it at maybe "one day" when the kids are much older we are supposed to have foreign exchange students in our home...maybe that's the vision we continue to have, maybe these kids don't belong to us at all. Foreign exchange students? Way down the road? Sounds good to me!!! We began to rest in knowing God would "one day" lead us to whatever, wherever. For now we rest! 
Matt. 11:28 Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you, REST.

Little did we know that only 6 months later God would come knocking on our hearts again. Through just a short email I received one day, I began to ask myself, "God is it China?" I quickly remembered Charlie's answer all those years ago, and assumed there would be no way he would be on board (oh, how we were enjoying the rest). When I finally did mention China to him he very quickly answered, "Check into it"...WHAT???
Now I'm the one who is struggling with the idea! Yep, me! You might even say fighting with God a little. You see, yes God did give me the insight that another child was coming "one day", but His timing was WAY OFF (so I thought, "Remember the nice plan of the foreign exchange students much later down the road Lord?"). One of the hardest things I was fighting Him over is the fact that we are JUST NOW to a place with the twins where life isn't so hard and I can enjoy life with them so much more. I finally feel like a mom with 2 children vs. twins. Life up until now has been soooo hard and full of work. I mean kindergarten starts in a few weeks and I will finally get some alone time, in my own house. Then God reminded me (while in the middle of one of my many pity parties) that He never promised life would be easy. As a matter of fact the Bible tells us there WILL be trials. He also reminded me just how hard life was for Him, and He did that so that I might be adopted and have my forever family and home in Heaven. Yes, I too am adopted, by my Heavenly Father. No matter how hard this road has already been (or will continue to be) it doesn't compare to the cost, or physical sacrifice He made for me. After much time on my knees crying out and praying for God to please take this cup from me, I finally surrendered...Not my will, but yours.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

"One Day" was July 30 we began to follow God to China. The moment we agreed to do this God began to lift my burdens and give me what I longed for for some time now...JOY! One of the things I have been dreading is that darn home study every family has to go through (Oh, the never ending sea of paperwork). Charlie came home on that Friday with every bit of that initial application TYPED out (except for the parts only I could do). 1 down and how many more to go??? Wow, what a blessing that was for so many reasons. It feels so good to now know we are in this together!!!  We still have so much ahead of us, but we continue to walk with our sweet Lord on this journey one step at a time.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.